written by : Hartati Eko Wardani
When ladies are asked to
wear hijab, they would say "I'm not ready. I'm still hijab-ing my soul.” I
don’t know how to hijab our soul.
Or, the most popular
excuse is “ I'm waiting for hidayah from Allah".
What do
you know about hidayah? Literally it means, a guidance. Is it something to wait,
or something to reach for?
I
am the one who believe that hidayah will certainly come to those whom Allah chooses.
Even until now, I still believe that. And
I really hoped, Allah would choose me to be the lucky one. I must be sure of
that. Why? Because I'm a good muslimah,
I pray five times a day, do the shodaqoh, Ramadhan fasting, help people. No
doubt about it! Allah will surely give me hidayah!!
And
then I waited for the moment. From year to year, but it still didn't come.
“What am
I waiting actually?” I asked to myself.
“That feeling.
Feeling which will strongly push me to wear hijab. Why do I still feel
reluctant to wear it? I feel so
threatened by fear of being unattractive”. Then I always made denials.
“None of
my female friends, relatives or neighbors cover their aurat with hijab. Will
Allah punish them all? Aah, I’m sure that Allah won’t blame me for not wearing
hijab, because my father and husband never push me to wear it. Besides, I'm not good enough in tilawah.
People will laugh at somebody waering hijab who can't recite the Qur'an!!” Ok, that’s it. I’m not ready.
But I was
so shocked when reading hadith related to punishment for women uncovering their
aurat. They really will be burnt in hell, with the hairs are hung by the fire,
until their brain gets boiled!! A father and husband who lets them go outside
their house unhijabed, they will also get punished!!
“God, I
don't want to be burnt in hell, but I want to wear hijab only when I'm ready. Why
do You give the hidayah to the others, but not to me? What's the difference between me &them? Do
You love them more than me?” I started to claim that Allah is unfair.
Then one
day, I find this hadith :
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: قَالَ النَّبِيُّ
صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ : “يَقُولُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى: أَنَا عِنْدَ
ظَنِّ عَبْدِي بِي، وَأَنَا مَعَهُ إِذَا ذَكَرَنِي، فَإِنْ ذَكَرَنِي فِي
نَفْسِهِ، ذَكَرْتُهُ فِي نَفْسِي، وَإِنْ ذَكَرَنِي فِي مَلَإٍ، ذَكَرْتُهُ فِي
مَلَإٍ خَيْرٌ مِنْهُمْ، وَإِنْ تَقَرَّبَ إِلَيَّ بِشِبْرٍ، تَقَرَّبْتُ إِلَيْهِ
ذِرَاعًا، وَإِنْ تَقَرَّبَ إِلَيَّ ذِرَاعًا، تَقَرَّبْتُ إِلَيْهِ بَاعًا(1)
وَإِنْ أَتَانِي يَمْشِي، أَتَيْتُهُ هَرْوَلَةً”
(رواه البخاري (وكذلك مسلم والترمذي وابن ماجه
Abu
Hurairah, may
Allah be pleased with him, reported:
Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Allah, the
Exalted and Glorious, stated: I am near to the thought of My servant as he
thinks about Me, and I am with him as he remembers Me. And if he remembers Me
in his heart, I also remember him in My Heart, and if he remembers Me in
assembly I remember him in assembly, better than his (remembrance), and if he
draws near Me by the span of a palm, I draw near him by a cubit, and if he
draws near Me by a cubit I draw near him by the space (covered by) two arms.
And if he walks towards Me, I rush towards him.
I read
the hadith many times. “Allah, I’m in a very big problem now. I don’t know how
much longer I live in this world, and I still haven’t worn hijab. Will You let
me be like this forever? Do You want to put me in hell??!” I loudly cried in
the middle of the night.
“Are You
sure with your words, that You will draw near me by a cubit, if I draw near You
by the span of a palm? What should I do? What kind of a little move do you want
from me?”
“Wear the
hijab, dear...” My conscious suddenly whispered at me!!
“What??!!
But I ...”
“No but!
That’s what He wants from you. He wants you to prove that you love Him, more
than anything. Do it! Break the wall of the uneasiness! Don’t think about the
comfort. “ My soul was hardly shivering.
“Is it
really the answer? But It’s not a little move for me... “
“But if you
keep rejecting, Allah will not help you, dear.” Again, I talked to myself.
I debated with my own soul.
“Do I
want to live without hijab and keep haunted by picture of hell forever, or stop
this anxiety.” Finally, my soul won. Then I decided to wear hijab on the next
day, as soon as possible, before I changed my mind.
That day
was one of the most awkward moment in my life. I pray many times before leaving
home.
يَا
مُقَلِّبَ الْقُلُوبِ ثَبِّتْ قَلْبِى عَلَى دِينِكَ
Yaa Muqallibal Quloob Thabbit Qalbee ‘alaa
Deenik.
Oh turner of hearts, make my heart firm upon
Your religion.
Amazingly, I could pass
the day through. Nobody laughed at me, my friends even said that I looked more
beautiful with the hijab. Nobody asked me how often I recite the Qur’an a
day, or other ridiculous questions. Alhamdulillah..
Did I feel comfortable
when I firstly wear it? Honestly, no. But I don't care. This is how I prove to
Allah that I love Him. But soon, I feel
more and more confident with hijab. Allah eases me much. Now, it's already 7
years I have been wearing the hijab. And I don't wanna take it off. I even can't leave without it.
My friends, HIJAB IS A
MUST, NOT A CHOICE. It’s clearly stated in QS Al Ahzab : 59 :
“O Prophet, tell your wives and your
daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part]
of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not
be abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful”
But most of us are still
waiting for the HIDAYAH coming. Come on, the HIDAYAH is already there! Some
inches from your forehead! But you don’t want to see it. You keep closing your
eyes, ears, heart, and mind.
So my
conclusion here is, Hidayah is not something to wait. It is something to reach
for, to fight for. You just need to grab
and put it deep inside your heart. Then make a little move, Allah will do the
rest. Many hands suddenly will come to you to ease the process. Do it soon
friends, because we never know, how much longer we will live in this world.