HIDAYAH

written by : Hartati Eko Wardani

When ladies are asked to wear hijab, they would say "I'm not ready. I'm still hijab-ing my soul.” I don’t know how to hijab our soul.

Or, the most popular excuse is “ I'm waiting for hidayah from Allah".

What do you know about hidayah? Literally it means, a guidance. Is it something to wait, or something to reach for?
            I am the one who believe that hidayah will certainly come to those whom Allah chooses. Even until now, I still believe that.  And I really hoped, Allah would choose me to be the lucky one. I must be sure of that.  Why? Because I'm a good muslimah, I pray five times a day, do the shodaqoh, Ramadhan fasting, help people. No doubt about it! Allah will surely give me hidayah!!
            And then I waited for the moment. From year to year, but it still didn't come.

“What am I waiting actually?” I asked to myself.

“That feeling. Feeling which will strongly push me to wear hijab. Why do I still feel reluctant to wear it?  I feel so threatened by fear of being unattractive”. Then I always made denials.

“None of my female friends, relatives or neighbors cover their aurat with hijab. Will Allah punish them all? Aah, I’m sure that Allah won’t blame me for not wearing hijab, because my father and husband never push me to wear it.  Besides, I'm not good enough in tilawah. People will laugh at somebody waering hijab who can't recite the Qur'an!!”  Ok, that’s it. I’m not ready.

But I was so shocked when reading hadith related to punishment for women uncovering their aurat. They really will be burnt in hell, with the hairs are hung by the fire, until their brain gets boiled!! A father and husband who lets them go outside their house unhijabed, they will also get punished!!

“God, I don't want to be burnt in hell, but I want to wear hijab only when I'm ready. Why do You give the hidayah to the others, but not to me?  What's the difference between me &them? Do You love them more than me?” I started to claim that Allah is unfair.

Then one day, I find this hadith :

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ : “يَقُولُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى: أَنَا عِنْدَ ظَنِّ عَبْدِي بِي، وَأَنَا مَعَهُ إِذَا ذَكَرَنِي، فَإِنْ ذَكَرَنِي فِي نَفْسِهِ، ذَكَرْتُهُ فِي نَفْسِي، وَإِنْ ذَكَرَنِي فِي مَلَإٍ، ذَكَرْتُهُ فِي مَلَإٍ خَيْرٌ مِنْهُمْ، وَإِنْ تَقَرَّبَ إِلَيَّ بِشِبْرٍ، تَقَرَّبْتُ إِلَيْهِ ذِرَاعًا، وَإِنْ تَقَرَّبَ إِلَيَّ ذِرَاعًا، تَقَرَّبْتُ إِلَيْهِ بَاعًا(1) وَإِنْ أَتَانِي يَمْشِي، أَتَيْتُهُ هَرْوَلَةً”
(رواه البخاري (وكذلك مسلم والترمذي وابن ماجه

Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported:
Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, stated: I am near to the thought of My servant as he thinks about Me, and I am with him as he remembers Me. And if he remembers Me in his heart, I also remember him in My Heart, and if he remembers Me in assembly I remember him in assembly, better than his (remembrance), and if he draws near Me by the span of a palm, I draw near him by a cubit, and if he draws near Me by a cubit I draw near him by the space (covered by) two arms. And if he walks towards Me, I rush towards him.

I read the hadith many times. “Allah, I’m in a very big problem now. I don’t know how much longer I live in this world, and I still haven’t worn hijab. Will You let me be like this forever? Do You want to put me in hell??!” I loudly cried in the middle of the night.

“Are You sure with your words, that You will draw near me by a cubit, if I draw near You by the span of a palm? What should I do? What kind of a little move do you want from me?”

“Wear the hijab, dear...” My conscious suddenly whispered at me!!

“What??!! But I ...”

“No but! That’s what He wants from you. He wants you to prove that you love Him, more than anything. Do it! Break the wall of the uneasiness! Don’t think about the comfort. “ My soul was hardly shivering.

“Is it really the answer? But It’s not a little move for me...  “

“But if you keep rejecting, Allah will not help you, dear.” Again, I talked to myself. I  debated with my own soul.

“Do I want to live without hijab and keep haunted by picture of hell forever, or stop this anxiety.” Finally, my soul won. Then I decided to wear hijab on the next day, as soon as possible, before I changed my mind.

That day was one of the most awkward moment in my life. I pray many times before leaving home.

يَا مُقَلِّبَ الْقُلُوبِ ثَبِّتْ قَلْبِى عَلَى دِينِكَ

Yaa Muqallibal Quloob Thabbit Qalbee ‘alaa Deenik.

Oh turner of hearts, make my heart firm upon Your religion.

Amazingly, I could pass the day through. Nobody laughed at me, my friends even said that I looked more beautiful with the hijab.  Nobody asked me how often I recite the Qur’an a day, or other ridiculous questions. Alhamdulillah..

Did I feel comfortable when I firstly wear it? Honestly, no. But I don't care. This is how I prove to Allah that I love Him.  But soon, I feel more and more confident with hijab. Allah eases me much. Now, it's already 7 years I have been wearing the hijab. And I don't wanna take it off.  I even can't leave without it.

My friends, HIJAB IS A MUST, NOT A CHOICE. It’s clearly stated in QS Al Ahzab : 59 :

“O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful”

But most of us are still waiting for the HIDAYAH coming. Come on, the HIDAYAH is already there! Some inches from your forehead! But you don’t want to see it. You keep closing your eyes, ears, heart, and mind.

  So my conclusion here is, Hidayah is not something to wait. It is something to reach for, to fight for.  You just need to grab and put it deep inside your heart. Then make a little move, Allah will do the rest. Many hands suddenly will come to you to ease the process. Do it soon friends, because we never know, how much longer we will live in this world.